literature

Do you appreciate what you have?

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Michelle-JP's avatar
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Literature Text

I am young, with my nineteen years of life I may not have lived long enough to know what I am about to talk of. But I hope that with what I am about to tell someone, somewhere will think twice about their life and what they hold dear.

I grew up in what now is one of the most dangerous cities in the world in a country where now every day I see in the news that decapitated bodies where found in the streets, that remains of kidnapped people where found on shallow graves outside a town, where calling the police to help you can actually be more dangerous than if you keep quiet. I speak of Mexico, the country that watched me grow.
My father had his own business that was passed down by my grandfather before his death in 2000. In the twenty years my father worked in the car audio/video industry, he was robbed thirteen times some of which were at gun point. His employees and him where lucky the losses where only material.
As the years went by and the industry became more popular, the competition grew stronger and people sought the cheaper prices. Within four years, my father's business went bankrupt. He owed many months of rent for the lease, the credit cards were at their max and the debt with the high interest rates grew with each month my father was unable to pay. But all those years of hardships never stopped my father from giving us what we asked for during birthdays, Christmas or whenever we asked for something. He always found a way to pay for what we wanted.
By 2005 the economic situation became more precarious, my father was forced to close his business and he began considering the possibility of migrating to the U.S. in search of work. By the beginning of December his decision was final and he left in search of the 'American Dream'. A day after he left, we received a call from him where he told us he had arrived safely with his cousins in California.
After my father left; my mother, my brother and I felt somewhat liberated. We did what we wanted since my father was the one who always kept us in line and enforced his rules. With him miles and miles away, there was really no one to tell us 'no'. If we wanted to do something, eat something, buy something we did. Those first months without my father were bliss. But it did not lasted long. By April during my brother's birthday we began to realise just how much we missed my dad. We went from being a family going everywhere together to a family torn by the economic downfall.
In school, things were not well either. I began being bullied by most of the girls in my classroom and by the most popular boy and his clique of friends. At the time I did not understood why they bullied me, we used to be friends or so I thought. The boy's resentment towards me began after one day while we played during class, he groped me and playing I did too. The girls from my classroom, they all saw and told the teacher. He was suspended for two days and he blamed me, even after I explained I had nothing to do with it. Anyway, the bullying was mostly verbal and sometimes it got physical. They mostly liked to humiliate me during lunch. But I never said anything to anyone, not even to my mom. To this day, they still do not know of that.
During that year we were apart from my dad, we all entered a deep state of depression. From that depression, I learned two things which I now love. I learned to cook, and to draw. The cooking began when my mom became so absorbed in the internet and those chat rooms that she stopped cooking. We ate whatever was available to buy when we got hungry. I began simple: eggs. After I learn to cook pasta and more complicated dishes following my mom's explanations and from what I remembered watching while growing up. It was hard to learn but I had to. I had to learn to do things I thought I would learn slowly and with time.
The depression got so bad at times where I would not sleep for two days or more until my body could not take it anymore and I would sleep then. During those nights of insomnia, I learned how to draw. I began with tracing pictures I found on magazines and newspapers.
I also stopped going to school after I graduated from elementary school. I would go one or twice a week. With my insomnia it was hard to wake up in the mornings when I had not slept for days. Also, my mother then became afraid to leave us at school after she received a call. The caller told her that they had my brother kidnapped and if she wanted to see my brother again she had to buy phone cards and send them somewhere. What kept my mom to lose her mind when she received that call was that that day she had walked my brother to the entrance of the school and was sure he had made it inside. In a panic she called the school and asked to speak to my brother. The principal of the school assured her my brother was in class and did not wanted to disrupt him or his class. That did little to assure my mom so she went personally and made sure my brother was safe and he was. My mom signed him off for the day and then went to my school next door and signed me off as well. After that call, my mom became a little paranoid always making sure we were not being followed, but no matter how cautious you are there is always the possibility that something might happen.
Time passed and my dad gave us the news that we were scheduled to leave Mexico City. He gave us two weeks to get sell everything that we owed and only take the necessary thing we would need. We left Mexico City and arrived in Tijuana. A week later we were reunited with my dad. We were together again and we did not cared living the four of us in room. We had been apart for so long that we did not wanted to be apart again.

Until now, I have only told you the bad experiences I had. But not everything was dark and sad. There were happy and bright moments as well. I will tell you more about those moments in another time~

Now going to the reason as for why I am writing this.
It has been nine months since I graduated high school and I do not know when or if I will attend college. The economic situation my family and I had in Mexico is no much different from where we are right now. For the past months we have been struggling to meet the month's end. There were days were we did not know what we would eat. This had caused friction and problems among us. Breaking apart our family that we suffered to bring and keep together.  
But you see, we are missing the really important things that we have. We have each other, we have health. Even if it is struggling we have something to eat, a roof above us, clothes to warm us. We might not have what we want but we have what we need to survive. I have realised that many things that I have others are not as fortunate to have them as well. Not that they do not deserve them, it is the circumstances they face that unable them to have what they need.
My family may not have money nor status but with all that we have faced we know how to appreciate what little we have.
Now I ask you, the reader, do you appreciate what you have? Or are you more worried with what you want but do not really need to live?
Remember that wanting and needing are two different things.
If you read everything, I tell you now. I did not write this because I want anyone's pity. I wrote it so anyone who reads this thinks twice about their life.
© 2013 - 2024 Michelle-JP
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ThreshTheSky's avatar
"Being thankful for what you have" is something really important that's also far too easy to forget. Growing up, one of my family's mantras was that "things could always be worse." A lot of people hear this and think it sounds dark and pessimistic. But I like it because it reminds me that no matter how screwed up things are, there's always something to be thankful for.

Thank you for sharing this. :)